“My sister stared at the jungle of sharing her daughter’s custody,” wrote a cup of reader by Jo “Jess. “Lost time of his present it is impossible to know. It’s great to hear how it was found by others – the challenges, and more unexpected joys.” A reader named Sara then answered Sarah, “Oh my goodness, I’m facing this issue with myself and feel lost and sad. Yes, please.”
So! We asked nine divorced women about life with equal custody – the good shares, the hard part, and what they were shocked. Here are their answers (and if you are for sharing, we want to hear your experiences, too …
I know you don’t have to be 100% of the time to be a good parent:
“I had my seven-year-old son a week, after a week. At first I didn’t think so long. As well as I had my son, like a woman in dating. This so much fun. I think a ‘good mother’ with her children all the time, but that is not true. The reality you can become a spiritual parent and make your child feel loved and safe without them 24/7. “- Emily
I found space to check my again:
“We’re trying ‘for the first year – means, our kids stay in the apartment, and my blocks are going to see my new part, and to work myself, as well as their own self can be their own.” – Lexi
I am alone in my house for the first time, however:
“My divorce came after many years a ‘married parent.’ I work full time and taken most of the housework and care. I haven’t been alone in my house! Not at least one hour! So, that weekend is miracles. I slept. I went for a long walk myself. I’m eating whatever I want (Thai Curry) whenever I want (9 PM) wherever I want (in bed, alone)! My baseline is for information Overstimulated, overload, often increasingly, often placed the first of others, and operating from a lack of mental time. I truly shocked how little sadness was my ‘off’ weekends. Another shock? Feel closer than I used to be with my children, post-divorce. My spouse and I was united with the natural parenting or looking at the world, so while it was difficult to know that they had a separate experience with Daddy’s parents, I was finally attracted to parenting. It brings great joy and trust my paper as a mother. “- Annie
I know how to drive a tractor and hang on shelves:
“There were times when I missed my kids, but I felt alive in a way I didn’t take care of the house. Even before my kids, and I feel so good.” – Melinda, author of Hello, crazy world! and the newsletter Now what
My female friendship is progressing:
“True Talk: I thought I’d die with the first couple I didn’t have my daughter. We gave great holidays, vacation, and long weekends with our girls with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film with a film.
Mom helps her son through a hard level in Super Mario Land, 1989.
I can be more with my kids because I have breaks:
“One of the largest issues of our marriage is the unequal distribution of labor labor, so when we divorced time. In the end, however, it was a short-term. But the custodian dimension. manageable. Also, when my children THE With me, I am more now because I know it’s not end. So, I can lock and be with them, knowing a rest baked. “- Cindy, Author of The mother went
My worst fear is not fulfilled:
“I also pushed the way to divorce because of the fear of separating custody. I was playing scenes with my children. Been carrying – not just because of me, but because I was spending ‘on my marriage and being consumed by those imagined scenarios. Instead, the Reality of Shared Custody is full of relief, optimism, and time to reconnect with friends, myself, creative projects, community and activism. My kids now have a model for what it looks like to create – instead of the life you want to stop it for conforming to what we think of a family looks. “- Amanda, author of Touched and the newsletter Crazy girlsand co-host at Domrado straight
I keep traveling in the school field on my days in my ‘off’:
“Even if we were with a decade, I felt the decay of loving and depressing my son, so I had a telephone who went to the houses of the whole things. – Marie, Newsletter author Notes from Marie
Lonely time becomes one of the best parts:
“To my surprise, what I was most of afraid of turned out to be the biggest perk of this 50/50 co-parenting set up. I wouldn’t have the kids. I thought I would be miserable, but while I do miss the kids, I am excited to have Weekends to myself, to recharge, spend time with friends or simply sit on my couch and read. I had completely forgotten what it felt like to be just me. It’s glorious! “- dye
Do you share your children’s joint custody? What is your experience? Any advice you share?
PS Five things that surprise me about divorceand The script we used to talk to children about divorce.
PPS and, in Big Salad, What feels like having sex for the first time in divorceand How do you know if it’s time to divorce?
.
